I wanted to try write one of my longest posts yet, I’ve had a shit load go on in my life and I really think this is dramatically affecting me. My blog is a place for me to open up, rant, pretty much breakdown with my heart on the line without having to tell anyone, i know people still can read my blog but whats the difference, its just raw emotion and we all have it, no point hiding it. I may not be a strong person emotionally but I try to handle things with the best of my abilities.

Things begun looking up in a way for me, I started to think differently and try to sort out things in my life and get back on track, I hated being depressed and hated feeling so fucking useless, I tried to get over it and i was slowly overcoming it when i had a massive bomb shell dropped, Amber and I were already apart and we’d be having rough pats, every night this was killing me and I begun trying to look up at things and think positive about the situation, I finally become positive and she ends up telling me she doesn’t love me. I was literally fucking shot down, I could hear my heart ripped from my fucking chest, I was in so much pain, I was crying my fucking eyes out and i didn’t have a fucking clue what to do. I knew I’d have to more on and this broke me so fucking much, My trust was broken, My confidence was broken, Most of all - My heart, ripped to shreds, I never thought I’d go through this with her, I always tried to be the best boy to her and now she was throwing me away like I was a piece of shit. Was I really that bad of a person? Did I treat her that bad? Maybe we weren’t meant to be.

I guess I’ll never know and i sort of never do want to know, She ripped me to fucking bits and I’m still lost..