As we sat quietly on the park bench and talked with friends. An innocent crush was already formed with the girl I was sitting next to. We all were discussing something silly and it didn’t bother me, what bothered me was that she was on my mind. I knew she liked me but wondered what I actually meant to her and if anything would ever happen. My mind trailed off thinking about it all and how she had a boyfriend that she had been dating for 6months.

I was taken from my trail of thought when she poked me. I knew I could never do anything to her and that nothing would happen. I looked over at her and watched her beautiful face light up when I poked her back and stuck my tongue out. I put my arm around her as she leaned back, I knew she wanted this too and that she felt safe. Deep down I knew nothing more would happen but I wanted it too last forever.

Hey all <3

Been busy with work, school etc

Going to write a full blog post tomorrow, may be a rant or an update. I need to work on my english skills so it may actually be a story so I can improve myself.

Edit: Post friday afternoon, I’m tired and need some sleep. Sorry.

- Thanks for reading my blog!

This title for this blog doesn’t really have much to do with this topic but it’s a reminder for me that I need to let go of people easier when they’re hurting me. All I do is stick around and get fucking hurt. most people aren’t worth my pain and suffering. I deserve to be happy and I’m going to stick to this, Fuck forgiveness. If it happened, you ovbiously meant it.

I’ve been on school holidays for the past week and have another week left. Lately I’m just doing some school work now and then, getting out to see friends and enjoying life right now. I’m going to be changing my attitudes for everything now. No more fucking around and I’m going to buckle down and finish these last 5 days of school, I need to do this so I can follow my dreams.

I sometimes get an idea for a blog now and then but never get around to writing it, I’m really stuck for words lately, I’ve got some shit going on and it’s getting pretty serious. I need to smarten up my english or next year I’m fucked for school. I can barely structure a sentence let alone write one. My english teacher pretty much reduced me to tears on parent teacher interviews night because I realised really just how bad I’m going and how I really need help.

Work sucks at the moment because I really want to make more money and I’m getting really shit shifts, I’m sick of lending my mum money aswell. I just want to save for a new computer and a guitar. Why is it so hard? :’( It makes me feel so bad If I don’t lend her money, makes me feel responsible for things she can’t afford.

Gah!

Today is the day that I face the fact that the world is what I make of it. And if I change today, then I’ll have a chance to show real true love for one thing in my life without failing. From here on out, I vow to push myself another step above. From here on out I vow to do my best for the ones I love. Today is the day that I take the past mistakes that I have made and I throw them out the window; along with the people that have fucked me over in the past. Today is the day I realize I need to change and know I can bring the world to it’s knees.