Close Your Eyes And Dream.
I’ve actually got a heap of anger in me tonight; I’m having the worst few days to be completely honest, not only am I sick but I’ve got some really complicated issues going on in my life. I dumped Kittie because she wasn’t making me happy, I know it seems stupid but it kept hurting me, knowing in my head that she’ll be 18 this year and she probably doesn’t need some 16 year old depressed kid hanging off her arm. I know it seems sad to admit but deep down, I know it’s true we probably weren’t going to last much longer anyway so I had to do what was right in my eyes and dump her before she get to attached. We’re still pretty close but I know it’s hurt her deep down and she’s still not understanding why I done it.
Obviously this isn’t the reason why I’m angry. Mums been really bitchy lately, no clue why but its actually really getting to me, It’s really actually giving me the idea of moving out of home again, home is really starting to shit me, it actually makes me feel sick to the gut to call it home, it’s far from a home in my eyes and I’m sick of how I’m treated, yea I may seem like some stupid kid to all the readers out there and people always say teens hate living at home but I don’t see myself as a normal teenager, I see myself as far from a normal teenager. I know I may be immature at some times but I know that I’m a mature young adult and that I can make decisions for myself, I know I’ve made some wrong decisions but isn’t life based on being able to figure out what you’re meant to really do instead of fucking up, I’ve got to figure life out for myself and stop having you pretty much hold my fucking hand every decision I make.
I wouldn’t say that was a rant, I just want to be-able to be independent and get out of home, I think I’d be a lot happier out of home.
Just a quick note also, new blog theme should be soon, awaiting my vector for the header J